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Managing Stress

“RESPA”

Romans 12 verse 2 (MEV) says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind”

Stress hasn’t just crept into our lives—it’s detonated. Global wars rage, genocide stains the headlines, political contention is no longer debate but rather demonizing, and economic instability keeps tightening its grip. These massive pressures trickle down and multiply personal anxieties: rising debt, vanishing savings, relational cracks, and a deep, unshakable weight that makes even getting out of bed seem impossible.

Beneath it all, there’s this haunting question echoing in hearts everywhere: “Am I going to make it?” People are not just tired, they’re spiritually, emotionally, and mentally overwhelmed. And in the middle of that chaos, we need a simple, grounding trigger thought—RESPA: Relax, Evaluate, Strategize, Pray, then Act. A mental lifeline that halts the freefall and reminds you to breathe, think, and turn your panic into a plan rooted in faith.

A young mother found herself staring at the ceiling one night, unpaid bills on the table, her husband checking out with his own mental exhaustion, and her toddler crying through a fever. She whispered, “I can’t do this anymore.” But the next morning, something stirred. She remembered the RESPA acronym. RESPA, a rhythm of survival in chaos and more than that, a mental reset that brings you back into the arms of the One who never panics.

Challenge: Find a quiet spot, your car, your bedroom, even your closet, where you can stop for just a moment. Take a deep breath, maybe another, and sweep all the clutter, all the confusion, and all the chaos from your mind. Feel calm rush in.

“Jesus, it’s just too much! I’m choosing to stop and get quiet! I’m choosing to look-up and reach-up! Help feel your calm replace my sense of panic! Love you Jesus, Amen!”

#godjustwins #RESPA #relax #breathe #evaluate #strategize #pray #act #godsreset #godwins

“RESPA” - RELAX

Isaiah 30 verse 15 (ERV) The Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, says, “If you come back to me you will be saved. Only by remaining calm and trusting in me can you be strong.”

The first and most essential step of RESPA is Relax, because when panic hits, the body doesn’t ask permission. It reacts. The young mom, just seconds before, was trembling, her chest tightening, her breath shallow and sharp like someone was smothering her. She later described it as feeling like the hand of Satan was covering her nose and mouth, choking-out hope, clarity, and peace all at once.

But in that moment, she remembered: “R” to Relax. She forced herself to pause. Eyes closed, jaw unclenched, she took a deep, deliberate breath. And then another. The effect was immediate. Her shoulders dropped. The tension in her stomach loosened. She wasn’t in control of the situation, but she was no longer drowning in it. That first breath, simple but sacred, was the moment heaven broke through the fog.

Science says deep breathing is the body’s natural way to calm itself, but faith says something deeper. Peace is a Person, and His name is Jesus. That breath wasn't just oxygen, it was obedience.

Challenge: Right now, before the prayer that follows, STOP! Take that deep breath, exhaling until your lungs are emptied. Think of God’s command in Exodus 14:14: “The Lord will fight for you. You just keep still.” Sense your body responding.

“Jesus, it felt like an 800 gorilla on my chest but then it flashed in my head, ‘just breath!’ In an instant You helped me relax and trust that the source of my stress and panic is Your fight! THANK YOU! Love you Jesus, Amen!”

#godjustwins #RESPA #relax #breathe #evaluate #strategize #pray #act #godsreset #godwins

“RESPA” - EVALUATE

Proverbs 14 verse 8 (ICB) says, “What makes a person wise is understanding what to do.”

After she took that first deep breath to Relax, her mind quickly moved into the second and most critical stage: Evaluate. Her heart was still pounding, her mind racing with worst-case scenarios but she grabbed a pen. She drew a line down the center of a notebook page and wrote “TRUTH” on one side, “FEAR” on the other. It was simple but it broke the back of panic. A plan began to crystalize.

She saw that not everything shouting in her head was rooted in reality. Fear was camouflaged as fact, and it now was clear how satan was shouting lies at full volume. But when she wrote it out, breathing slowed. Her heart found rhythm. Thoughts, once scattered like atoms in chaos, began to hone in. There was clarity. Evaluation became her spiritual re-centering.

That moment changed the deafening static of satan and finally gave way to the quiet, clear voice of God. He didn’t scream, He whispered, and she finally had ears to hear everything. She said it felt like stepping out of a storm shelter and realizing the tornado had passed. Not because the challenge was fixed, but because she was no longer in fear. She realized before any action, there must be a plan.

Challenge: Evaluation isn’t weakness, it’s how you regroup, recenter, and resist being tossed by emotion. God doesn’t just comfort you, but He allows you to feel your strength return. Continue in stillness, and see God’s path become visible again.

“Jesus, thank You, I’m beginning to settle down! My stress, and along with it, satan’s noise is starting to fade! Your strength is replacing my fear with ‘I can’ and ‘I will!’ Love you Jesus, Amen!”

#godjustwins #RESPA #reflect #relax #evaluate #strategize #pray #act #godsreset #godwins

“RESPA” – STRATEGIZE

Proverbs 21 verse 5 (ERV) says, “Plan carefully and you will have plenty; if you act too quickly, you will never have enough.”

Evaluation exposes the lies satan plants, those insidious thoughts like, “You’ll never get out of this,” or “You’re failing as a mom.” Then come the shift: Strategize. This didn’t require all the answers, but rather it was about creating a plan rooted in faith, not fear. She outlined next steps: a vulnerable call to a mentor, discuss with her husband, and organize her week around manageable, reachable goals.

It’s here truth begins to rise: “My child is safe. I can still breathe. God has come through before.” Strategize is the step that clears the fog. It breaks the chokehold of emotion and creates space for clarity. You can’t fight a battle you haven’t first defined. Strategy starts to reveal the landscape, and good news, it shows satan is losing territory. Her strategy wasn’t grand, it was just doable.

In that moment, it gave the young mom back her authority. Satan thrives in chaos but strategy drives him out. Further, strategy is godly. It brings order to disorder and light to confusion. She wasn’t just surviving anymore, she was moving with intent, and that’s where breakthrough begins. Relax, Evaluate, and now Strategize are lowering the stress. You’re now weaponized with God.

Challenge: In this quiet moment “Strategize” is where your mindset flips from panic to power. The waves of distraction and urgency haven’t stopped, and now you’ve got a plan and a paddle. Discipline to take, or make, the time to plan.

“Jesus, all of life is pulling on my pant leg, but I’m not giving in! Because of you I no longer feel like I’m drowning! I’m ready for Your plan! Love you Jesus, Amen!”

#godjustwins #RESPA #nextsteps #relax #evaluate #strategize #pray #act #godsreset #godwins

Day 1: Shoulder-to-Shoulder, Not Head-to-Head

Ephesians 4 verse 2 (ESV) instructs, “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love”

The first step in rebuilding a broken or weary marriage is a simple choice: stand shoulder-to-shoulder rather than head-to-head. It’s the decision to shift from living combatants to living as partners again. When arguments are routine and silence stretches long, it’s tempting to view your spouse as the enemy. But the real enemy is evil that tries to divide what God has joined together.

A young husband shared how pride nearly ended his marriage. Every disagreement became a battle, and he was determined to be “right,” even if it alienated her. He said, “I was defending my ego.” One night, after yet another argument, he felt the Holy Spirit whisper, “Be right, or be unified, but you cannot have both.” He stood down and said, “Let’s stop standing as opponents against each other, and start standing as proponents for each other.”

Everyone knows satan will use marriage to amplify tension. In fact, it’s not about avoiding conflict, but rather refusing to let conflict become your identity. Divorce begins with those slow, unnoticed withdrawals of grace, gentleness, kindness, and patience. But restoration begins the moment you choose to stay in the ring, not to fight your spouse, but to fight for your spouse.

Challenge: Today, choose one small way to serve your spouse, not because they earned it, but because love gives anyway. A kind text, a hug, a quiet prayer. Start rebuilding right now.

“Jesus, help us to fight for each other and not against each other! Teach us to see our marriage the way You do! Worth saving, worth growing, worth fighting for! Love you Jesus, Amen”

#godjustwins #marriage #standdown #standtogether #ido #ican #iwill #imust #godwins

Day 2: Speak Life, Not Labels

Proverbs 16:24 (NIV) says, “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

In marriage, your words carry weight, a sacred responsibility with the power to either infuse love, or inflict lasting wounds. Once spoken, words cannot be taken back. In moments of frustration, it’s easy to label your spouse with sharp terms like “lazy,” “dramatic,” or “controlling.” But those labels don’t just describe, they define. Over time, they chip away at confidence, security, and love.

A young couple made a pact early in their marriage: no insults, even in conflict. It wasn’t easy, the arguments still came, but they committed to fight fair. Instead of tearing down, they chose to build up, calling out the good. When he lost his job, she reminded him of his perseverance and creativity. When she battled anxiety, he spoke peace and calm into her. Make a habit of kind words.

God calls us to something higher: to speak life, even when emotions run hot. To declare not just what we see in the moment, but who our spouse is becoming. In healthy marriages, words are used to cover, encourage, and lift, especially when one partner is struggling to see their own value. When you remind your spouse of who they are in God’s eyes, you become a mirror of His love.

Challenge: Speak a blessing over your spouse today. Out loud. Name something you admire, even if it’s small. Let your words be nurturing and encouraging.

“Jesus, help me to use my words as tools of peace, not weapons of war. Teach me to see and speak to the good You are shaping in my spouse! Love you Jesus, Amen”

#godjustwins #marriage #quicktolisten #slowtospeak #watchwhatyousay #gentle #godwins

Day 3: WEATHERING THE STORMS

Ecclesiastes 4 verse 12 (CSB) says, ”And if someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.”

Every marriage faces storms—some so subtle you hardly notice them until the light begins to fade. Some are gentle drizzles of daily life: unmet expectations, emotional fatigue, or quiet disconnection. Like gray skies that mute once-vibrant landscapes, these moments can quietly dull the emotions. Without intentional care, these light rains can leave your marriage dampened rather than alive and brilliant.

Other storms strike with terrifying force, unexpected health crises, financial loss, betrayal, or overwhelming disappointment. They crash into your life like tornadoes, unannounced and unrelenting, leaving damage in their wake. But storms don’t mean your marriage is failing, they mean you’re human. What matters is not avoiding the storm, but how you weather it together.

The danger lies not in the storm itself, but in the slow erosion of connection. Don’t isolate. Don’t run. Lean into each other and into God. Hold each other tighter, let hardship refine your love, and allow the storm to deepen, not destroy, your bond. God gives us the choice to pull back or push forward. Restoration and reconnect are intentional not random. Make the choice to draw closer.

“Jesus, when life gets hard, teach us to run to You and to each other. Make our marriage the eye of the storm! The discovery of peace in the middle of chaos! Love you Jesus, Amen!”

Challenge: Ask your spouse: "What do you need from me this week to feel supported?" Then follow through. Be their shelter.

#godjustwins #marriage #drawcloser #spousefirst #decisive #intentional #choose #godwins

Day 4: FORGIVENESS IS A DECISION

Colossians 3 verse 13 (NIV) says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Choosing to forgive in marriage is not about who was more right or who hurt more. There’s no ranking in who or how someone falls short. It’s about who will be more faithful to love. When you break the silence, extend your hand, and choose to forgive your spouse fully, you're not excusing the pain, you're ending its power. Forgiveness isn’t weakness; it’s bold, it’s holy strength.

A young couple shared how an emotional distance crept into their marriage. She discovered emotional messages with a coworker, nothing physical, but enough to shatter trust. Instead of walking out, she made the hardest move of her life: she broke the silence, told her husband she forgave him, and invited him to rebuild with her. She says now, “That moment of forgiveness unlocked our healing. It was the most courageous thing I’ve ever done.”

Even if the other person hasn’t apologized or changed yet, forgiveness starts with you because freedom starts with you. Holding a grudge in marriage is like keeping score in a game no one wins. But forgiveness? That’s where intimacy gets rebuilt and peace becomes the new foundation. Invite God into the space where bitterness once lived and blessing will follow. Go first!

Challenge: Is there something you need to release today? Literally write it down, pray over it, crumple the paper, then choose to let it go. If needing more, talk it through gently.

“Jesus, help me to forgive the way You forgave me, fully and freely! Heal what hurt me, and soften my heart toward my spouse! Allow me to be the one that initiates on forgiving! Love you Jesus, Amen!”

#godjustwins #marriage #forgive #gofirst #release #heal #choose #together #godwins

Day 5: INTIMACY BEYOND THE PHYSICAL

Genesis 2:25 (ESV) says, “Even though both the man and his wife were naked, they were not ashamed about it.”

The pursuit of intimacy in marriage is a relentless, beautiful journey toward soul connection, not just physical closeness. True intimacy is found in the moments where masks fall and vulnerability is safe. It’s holding hands during a silent drive, praying together through uncertainty, and listening with your heart instead of just your ears. Surface-level love stops at convenience and comfort.

Too many couples unknowingly accept a watered-down version of love. Where it becomes transactional, predictable, and emotionally distant. But those who pursue true intimacy know that connection is cultivated in the small daily decisions that demonstrates your presence. Real intimacy is found when you dream together, cry together, fight fair, and forgive fast.

But deep intimacy digs through the dirt, the insecurities, fears, past wounds and says, “I still choose you.” Emotional and spiritual closeness are the roots that strengthen physical affection. When trust and tenderness grow, true intimacy says, “I know you, and I love you still, not in spite of it, but because of it.” That’s the kind of love that lasts a lifetime.

Challenge: Have a heart-to-heart talk tonight. Ask: "What’s been on your heart lately that you haven’t shared?" Listen with empathy, and especially for men, don’t try and fix. Just listen.

“Jesus, draw us closer emotionally and spiritually! Help us to know and be known without fear or shame! Let intimacy thrive in every part of our marriage! Love you Jesus, Amen!”

#godjustwins #marriage #intimacy #dream #cry #listen #fightfair #together #godwins

Day 6: CHOOSING GRACE DAILY

1 Peter 4 verse 8 (ERV) says, “Most important of all, love each other deeply, because love makes you willing to forgive many sins.”

God-given grace in marriage is the only sure rescue from the kind of reactive, volatile conflict that feels like flicking matches at a can of kerosene. Without grace, every disappointment becomes an explosion, every failure an indictment. But grace absorbs the spark before it ignites. It doesn’t mean we ignore pain or tolerate mistreatment, but rather, grace says, “I won’t keep score.

A young couple who came from homes where fighting meant shouting, silent treatments, or storming out. Neither had seen what forgiveness looked like in real time. They were challenged to give each other the kind of grace God gives: undeserved, unearned, but unwavering. He recalls a moment she forgave him after a harsh argument, tears in her eyes but softness in her voice. “That night changed me,” he says. “She had every right to turn away, but instead she invited me back in.”

Marriage was never meant to be a perfect performance; it’s a covenant built on forgiveness, patience, and the humility to say, “I need grace, too.” When both spouses lean into the mercy God gives, love becomes a shelter, not a battlefield. For any marriage, grace is a secret weapon, not because it makes life easier, but because it makes love possible.

Challenge: When your spouse messes up today, pause. Breathe. Choose a gentle response. Grace over reaction.

“Jesus, fill our home with grace! Teach both of us to be patient with each other’s process and progress! Help us to love deeply and forgive quickly! Love you Jesus, Amen!”

#godjustwins #marriage #grace #relax #breathe #strategize #patience #act #forgive #godwins

Day 7: ROOTED IN CHRIST

Psalm 127 verse 1 (GNT) says, “If the Lord does not build the house, the work of the builders is useless”

People laugh when I joke that the key to marriage is to simply, “look down, fold your hands, avoid eye contact, and say Yes ma’am!” But here’s the truth behind the humor: the real secret weapon in marriage isn’t passivity, it’s proximity to Christ. Out of every resource available, books, counseling, podcasts, date nights, the most transformative force in a marriage is when it’s rooted in Jesus.

A young couple who married in their early twenties with passion but very little guidance. Their parents’ marriages had been torn by infidelity and bitterness, so they carried deep fears into their own relationship. Early on those fears showed up in the form of jealousy and bitterness. But instead of repeating their family patterns, they made one bold, deliberate decision. They invited Jesus into their marriage. It was living rooted in Christ that made all the difference.

When your identity is grounded in Him, your love isn’t based on performance or mood, it’s anchored in grace. Christ becomes the foundation, the compass, the peace in the chaos. He equips us to forgive when we want to retaliate, to stay when we feel like running, and to love not just with words, but with sacrificial, daily choices. A marriage rooted in Christ doesn’t just survive storms, it grows stronger through them.

Challenge: Pray together today. Even if it’s short. Even if it feels awkward. Invite, or re-invite, God into your marriage out loud.

“Jesus, be the center of our marriage! Teach us to follow You first, so we can love each other best! Root us in Your truth, Your grace, and Your purpose! Love you Jesus, Amen!”

#godjustwins #marriage #rooted #christ #turntohim #lookup #submit #trust #act #godwins

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